
asked: I’ve been in love with the idea of lasting and loving relationships ever since I was a young teen. I would spend my free time reading about them and have books like Men are From Mars and “What works in a lasting sexual relationship” and those kinds of things. Needless to say even throughout all of high school I had some pretty fullfilling relationships but we were young so how fullfilling could they be right lol.
So here’s the scenario:
I’m 21 and have a 1-year old from my previous relationship that lasted 2 years. I finally left him because he was a chronic liar and had a hard time holding a job.
Now, I’ve been with my current boyfriend for just over a month. We actually met through plentyoffish.com LOL (my friend made me sign up). I really had no interest in him when we were talking online for about 8 months until he finally insisted we meet in person, and when we did (I had to bus an hour and a half to see him, but thats where my Dad lives so I wasnt too worried), it was like BAM instant attraction and we’ve been really good since. I go visit him basically every weekend and he comes here occasionally (I like it better at his place). One time I was there 5 days straight.
SO! Him and I are basically convinced that we’re gonna get married already and I’m hoping to move in with him next summer (can’t now because I’m in school). My friends think I’m being stupid because it’s only been a month. I say so what. I’ve been trying my hardest to really analyze his character (I have a book on that too lol) and we’ve had some pretty in-depth conversations about where we’re headed and what we have going so far (which is AMAZING!). I’ve never felt like this with anyone else. I actually TRUST him! And I respect him because he actually lives on his own (well, with his brother, who I love to death) and has a decent job and treats me and my daughter like GOLD. I’ve seen him angry (family drama one weekend I was there), I’ve seen him exhausted (he installs granite countertops), and I’m trying to pick out where potential arguments could happen (like both our bad budgeting skills lol area of improvement for both)
I know that relationships take a lot of work and never just “happen” so I won’t follow that advice, to just let it happen lol. I know it’s the little things that matter. And I’m trying my best to be the best person I can for him and my daughter.
What would you suggest for finding out if your partner really is the “One”? And don’t say TIME because it’s not time it’s situation lol. I’d like to take pre-marital couselling… read those self-help books that make you ask each other a bazillion questions… Things are so AMAZING right now and I want to make sure it’s not just because we’re new.. I know things are gonna tone down but I hope not too much! I am seriously so in love with him and if he were to propose tomorrow I would say yes and move in right away! I would prefer being married before I move in because that’s how I was raised…
But seriously is it too early for me to really make that clear of a judgment? We’ve only been seriously dating for a month.. but it feels like forever..
He treats my daughter as if she was his own, and so does the rest of his family. They offer to babysit even, something my family never does even though I live with them.
Nothing will be happening for at least another 8 months anyways, until I’m done my schooling, but I’m just wanting to know if there’s anyway that we can take advantage of this time for us to really get to know eachother? If we really have what it takes? Suggest any good books?
Honest…honestly
self improvement Marriage & Divorce Bam, Dad, Hard Time, Hour And A Half, Ready For Marriage